Pay Attention!

PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the phrase that I have been yelling at myself inside my head for the last three weeks. I have a to take a middle grades math certification test this Saturday, and I can't make my attention span last more than about 45 minutes to an hour without getting utterly bored and either blogging, watching TV, or pulling out my "for fun" book that I've been reading. Why can't I make myself study for this test?

I mean, here is the deal: I currently hold two degrees one of which is a masters in social studies secondary education, a minor in history, and four certifications (6-12 History and Geography, MG Reading and MG Social Studies). And I can't get a job. Seriously? So I signed up to take the MG math test to be certified in that in the hopes that it will at least get me a job. Unfortunately the debt payments won't wait for me to find my dream job in my dream city teaching my dream subject. Apparently life doesn't work that way. So here I am taking a MG math test.

Problem: I am not a math person. Not to be understood that I am bad at math, because I'm not. I'm not amazing at it like Manhands and Blair, but I'm not terrible at it. I always did well in my math classes, mostly because it was just filling in formulas and finding an answer. I just don't particularly like math. That is all my hatred for math boils down to- I just plain don't like it. Even in college, I took the two easiest and lowest level math classes that I could get credit for. And even then, I made a perfect grade on the hardest test we had (it was five questions, and to solve each you had to use a sheet and a half of paper).

The thing is that this math certification should get me a job. The key word in that sentence being should. Will it for sure get me a job that will allow me to live on my own, pay my bills, and hopefully one day replace my POS Saturn? That is the true question. But it is at least supposed to up my chances.

So I guess I'll just keep telling myself PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring!!!!

I love spring. It may be my favorite season. And I love fall, and everything fall represents- changing of the leaves, football games, all that. But spring- love it! That first time you can wear short sleeves after winter without a coat of jacket of some type. The first time you can wear flip flops/sandals all day! There is nothing better than that- except the first time you get to walk around bare foot. I love being bare foot more than anything in the world, which is probably why I hate shoes and wear sandals from late February until late October, with a few days here and there in the months between when a southern winter turns into a nice day (really anything above 50 degrees).

I had this epiphany today while out watching Grady at High School Terminus-- walking around barefoot on a frisbee field (and one you don't have to worry about stepping on needles or broken glass or anything else of that disgusting variety). It was warm outside, but cool enough with the wind blew to need a long sleeved maybe, but the sun was out enough for me to start off my sun burn season right (but not too bad). And on top of all that, Grady played AMAZING- better and harder than I have ever seen them play. So good that they do not have an excuse anymore for playing any other way :).

So over all, good day, good weekend (league started yesterday- RAWR!!!!!!!), welcome to spring.

St. Pattys Day- that was it?

Today (or rather, 1.5 hours ago) is St. Patty's day. I've heard much about this day. It is the celebration of St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland... or at least I'm told this. Presbyterians don't have saints, but I'm also Scot Irish, which I guess still makes this holiday kinda cool (even though technically I'm Scottish- but whatever). People wear green on this day. And from what I have been told, people over the age of 21 go out and drink. A lot. There are car bombs, Guinness, and all things Irish galore apparently. I unfortunately, I have to disagree. Due to circumstances beyond my control, today was my first experience going out on St. Patty's day- since I've turned 21. I expected it to be awesome. My real impressions: It felt like going out on any other Tuesday night, except that there were more people wearing the color green. Maybe it's because it is a Tuesday, maybe it is because I'm still slightly sick, or maybe the holiday has been hyped up too much in my head. But whatever it is, I was sadly disappointed. I had a few beers, did my car bomb, almost stabbed a few super drunk sorority girls, and went home.

Can someone tell me how today was supposed to go again?

Post Secret

Super fun website: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

The Cold From Hell

Ok-Seriously? I feel like I have been sick for the last three months. At least. I mean, the year I worked at the preschool I wasn't sick this much. So I've had the basic cold/sinus infection a few times this year (including twice this past summer). After Mudbowl I developed a case of something that I am pretty sure was the flu. I haven't had a fever since I don't know when, so I am assuming that with a fever of 102.6 it is safe to say it was the flu. Since then, I felt like I was over it, finally got over the cough, and then this past Wednesday it came back, and fast. There may have been some environmental factors in place (going to bed with my hair wet the night before certainly didn't help the situation), and I have been stressed about life and the job and all that. So I think between the wet hair, stress, and the emotional roller coaster that was not getting the job, my body gave up and the cold came back. It's so bad that I couldn't make it through the whole day at Terminus (but the rain and 45 degrees had nothing to do with it).

So I say again- seriously?! Colds are stupid, and I believe that I have had my fair share of them this year. Mother Nature can keep her colds and give them to someone else more deserving.

Theme Song

So, I honestly believe that everyone has a theme song that describes their life. No seriously. If you think about it, it's kinda awesome. A song that can tell a listener exactly what they need to know about your life without investing too much time and without giving them all the details (good and bad). Mine is "The Long Way Around" by the Dixie Chicks:

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long
the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

Cheesy? yes. True? completely. I'm still trying to figure out who I am , and I know that whenever I make friends that are based out of somewhere esle* I tend to be a different person to them than my friends in other places. I think this is me trying to find me, and that happens.

What's your theme song?

*I tend to keep my friends away from each other at all costs possible-- for some reason I don't like my worlds to mix. My Memphis friends don't know my ultimate friends, my knoxville friends don't know my Atlanta friends, etc...

Disappointment

So... that whole taking chances thing? Not so sure about it anymore.

Ok, so maybe that isn't totally true. But I will say that when I take a chance and it doesn't work out over something ridiculous and miniscule (or at least to me), it makes it harder to remind myself to keep taking chances. Obviously, I heard back from the school in Colorado that I had an interivew with last Wednesday. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. The message left on my voicemail said that the main reason that I did not get the job is because I do not currently hold a Colorado teaching license. I find this reasoning absolutly ridiculous, because there is absoluty no reason that I won't receieve it from the CDE, but at the same time I understand where this decision came from. What if it hasn't gone through by the time school starts in the fall? The school would be out a teacher, and that would be awefully for everyone, and it still wouldn't be any one person's fault (well- it might be the fault of someone down at CDE...).

So I came home today, napped off the crying hangover, and then poured myself a giant glass of wine. My mother apparently called my cousin and she brought home chocolate milk, cookies and ice cream. The sad girl trifecta. And I applied to 7 more openings in DPS. Back to the grind I guess.

Taking Chances

Taking chances in life is probably one of the hardest things to do. I mean seriously, what's the point except that you increase your chances of failure and getting hurt exponentially.

OK... so it maybe isn't all that bad. When one takes chances, the opportunity for new things, new people, and new experiences comes around. The chance of finding out a little more about your own limits might happen. But really, what after that?

For me, I don't generally take chances all that often. I usually stick to the fairly safe decision when it come to deciding between two choices. I can't help it. And I do this in all things. When I graduated from college, I moved to Atlanta, and took a job working at the same place that Samantha worked. I mean, she got me the job basically. Many said (Tom mostly) that by moving to Atlanta I was taking a chance, and leaping into the unknown. I literally graduated and then moved out of town immediately- on the same day. But really, what chances did I take? I moved to a city that I had never lived in, true. But I moved in with family. No scaries there. Then I took a job with Samantha who is a friend of mine, and her dad was basically my boss. Again- no scaries there (except that I had to be a receptionist in a body shop... that part was kinda scary). I didn't move to Atlanta knowing nobody. Like I said, I did have some family (aunt, uncle, cousin). I also had a small group of friends from Shotgun, and I thank whatever deity is up there looking over the universe that I had them. I know that I wouldn't have gotten through those few months without them. So really, no scaries there--- not best friends, but they all turned out to be after just a few months (and still are). Since then, I have kept living with my family, played ultimate with basically the same people that I knew when I first moved here, and gone to graduate school. Grad school gets its own scary category, but not in this post.

I sometimes wonder why I didn't really try to go to school out west. That would have been super duper scary. To literally move across the country at 18 and completely start over would have been amazing and pee in your pants scary at the same time. I admire LP-eezy for doing it! I wish I had known about federal loans a little more so that I could have done something crazy like that. Instead when my parents told me "No Caroline, you can't even apply to schools out west because it doesn't matter if you get in. We can't afford it, and your test scores and grades are not good enough to get enough scholarships to cover the difference" I just applied to one school. ONE. I applied to the University of Tennessee-Knoxville, and obviously I got in. 3.5 of the best years of my life (yes- I graduated a semester early. No, I do not recommend this path to ANYONE). I didn't do the Greek thing, I played ultimate, and I kinda started over with that crowd. But in the end, I still had my security blanket that is my friends from Memphis. So, no chances there.

Now, I have decided to turn over a new leaf on life. I'm taking chances. I mean, why not? What have I really got to lose? Like I said, the chances of me failing or getting hurt go up, but what am I missing if I don't take those chances? I'm pretty sure I would regret never knowing more than the outcome. So, I'm still putting all my energy into getting a job in Colorado. I am currently waiting on the results of last week's phone interview. I hope that I get this job so that I can stop stressing about it. But if it doesn't work out, well then I keep trying. This is something I want. I don't think I'll live there forever- unfortunately the South is in my blood, and I love it. But it is definitely time for something new and different. I want to experience life somewhere else. I want a real winter! Eventually, I'll come back south though---it's just too good (green and beautiful, memories all over the place, and nothing in the world beats the people!). But for now, the west is calling my name, and I'll do everything I can to get out there and start over. It's so time.

Other than that, I've decided to take more chances in every part of my life. If I want something I am going to go after it, because that is what life is about. I can't be afraid of always getting hurt, because then nothing good will ever happen to me. So this time, I really am going to live life by my motto:

No regrets. No exceptions. No excuses.

The 3 Elements that Make a Good Party

Ok... so it's been a while. And no, I'm never going to explain about my hat. As long as I remember what happened based on that picture, that is all that matters. Besides- it's not that good of a story any way, except to me :)

So instead, I'll write about the three elements that make a good party. Now, most of you might be thinking, those are simple. the main one being beer, the second on being anyone of the opposite sex, and the third one being a personal preference.

Oh but wait, you would be wrong! The 3 elements of a good party are not quite that simple. The 3 mentioned above are very good elements, but those are all necessary for any party once you reach a certain age. The 3 that make a good party are:

Blood
Tears
Nakedness

Now these do not have to go in any particular order, but they are all necessary for a good party. Loopy, why are these the things? Wouldn't two of those things make a bad party? No my dear (and two) friends that read this terrible excuse for a blog, they do not. Here is how these things came to define a party:

It was a few summers ago, back when I was still making an ass of my self when I would go down to Auburn for fun. I was friends with the girls, and friends with Ray, J-Vo, and Robert. I didn't know any of the boys then (and sometimes I look back on those days fondly). I went down there to hang with Annie, and once down there I was told we were going to Sexton's lake house. I am up for anything. We get there, and start drinking, and everyone is having a good time. I'm mostly hanging with the girls, but eventually start talking to some of the guys. At some point, we are all a few sheets to the wind. Annie is taking on the boys for one-on-one beer pong challenges, and winning btw. She is just tearing it up. I have mentioned at least a hundred times throughout the night that we have to go skinny dipping... we HAVE to since I never have before. Ray is having some issues. I have earned the name Ms. Loopy (which i hate), and started to make some friends. Well, at some point, A-town tries to pick Annie up by throwing her over his shoulder. Unfortunately, he is drunk, the floor is wet, and all of a sudden they go down in a heap of arms and legs. Annie, once hitting the floor, bites down on her own lip so hard that she basically bites right through it. There is blood (Element #1) everywhere, the girls are freaking out trying to help her, A-town is crying (Element #2) because he hurt Annie. Annie, needless to say goes on to beat the rest of the guys at beer pong and promptly puts her and her swollen lip to bed.
So, we have two of the elements, and it's still fairly early in the evening. At some point, Blair calls me out on wanting to skinny dip. I put it off and put it off. I sit on the dock watching other people swim, talking, having people give me shit and then turn around and try and talk me into my earlier statement. Eventually, mostly because I can't back out at this point and to prove everyone wrong, I get naked (Element #3) and jump in. This is not something that I do at this point in my life. I'm pretty reserved still (well, that isn't true anymore). I am the only girl that actually gets naked the entire night, but many of the boys do. Most of the girls that are still up get thrown in with all their clothes on. Needless to say, it was a good time.

Now I know that this does not sound like the best story. But if you know me or any of the Auburn kids (or you were actually there), you know this is a good story. I was by far at my best drunk state ever- super fun, but not sick drunk. Willing to do something slightly stupid that most people thought was pretty funny and sometimes still give me shit for. In the end, totally worth it.

But think about it- don't most of the really good, even great, parties have these elements incorporated into most of the stories? I thought so. Case rested.

Next time you go to a party, you should think to yourself: "Now how am I going to make this happen?"